A Better Ten Commandments!

I'm taking this from another of my blogs because I really like these commandments and think they deserve their own blog entry. You can see the original blog post here.

It's pretty obvious that the bible is not a moral guide, no amount of pretending can change that fact. Only a couple of the actual Ten Commandments have anything to do with an actual moral code, and as many, many people have said all you would have to do is write "Don't fucking own people" and you will have created a more moral book than the Holy Bible.

This is what most consider to be the 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not lie, steal or kill are pretty much the only good ones.

The rest, I think we can pretty much do a lot better.

These are not the actual 10 according to the bible, more about that at the end...

With that in mind, I present my own 10 commandments. I find them much more moral, even if I use the word FUCK a lot!

I  AM THE LORD YOUR GOD...

...and These are my holy commandments and I expect you fucks to obey. Except maybe the first two, they were practice and got left in because I was feeling lazy and I really wanted there to be ten. Also, we aren't going to do the whole "Hell" thing (so I'm really not sure where that Satan dude lives) but you might have to answer to actual human authorities for being a dick, or maybe we will make you stand in a corner for a millennia or two. The point is fear my wrath asshole!

1.  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fish even if it's Branzini which is really tasty.
2.  Thou shalt go to a doctor and get that thing looked at. 
3. Thou shalt not lie, cheat, steal, kill, rape or own other people as fucking property. 
4.  Thou shalt realize there is some leeway with those first four items for the safety, wellbeing, and health of yourself and others but rape and slavery are fucking no-goes all of the time... forever.
5.  Thou shall get your children fucking vaccinated and take them to the doctor or hospital when sick. I gave you the science, fucking use it. Also if you make fun of the Anti-vaxxers  but don't believe in climate change science, shut the hell up and respect the Earth anyway.
6.  Thou shalt be as kind as possible to animals, even the food ones for they sustain you, cause them no unnecessary pain. 
7.  Thou shalt be kind to your fellow man and to yourself and when you fail in this you will apologize to them (or yourself), not me! Then actually try not to do it again.
8.  There is no holy land anywhere ever and the only chosen people are the ones who are truly kind. At the same time treat the land as if it is holy, and no, that doesn't mean fight over it.
9.  Thou shalt leave people who are not harming you the fuck alone.  This includes LGBTQ people and people with different levels of melatonin in their skin and even people you just don't fucking like. Side note - this does not mean you have to respect their unproven or delusional beliefs.  It doesn't mean you can't call them out for crazy shit or stop them from hurting themself or others, you can do all that while still respecting them. 
10.  Don't be a dick. Also, it's okay to say fuck, I do it a lot.  It's just a word. 

Who was the better Moses? Tell me in the comments!

Oh, and what about those real 10 Commandments? Exodus 34 has the replacement set for the ones Moses smashed at Mt. Sinai.

Exodus 34:28 plainly states that these are The 10 Commandments. By the way, if it seems like there are more then 10, you are obviously mistaken. God can count to 10 better than you can!

The bible also claims these are exactly the same as the first... and of course, except for being nothing like the first set, they are exactly the same!

• Don't make treaties with people who believe in other gods.
• Conquer people who believe in other gods and destroy their religious property.
• Worship the god whose name is Jealous.
• Don't make any molten gods.
• Celebrate three feasts during the year: unleavened bread, the first harvest, and the last harvest.
• Every firstborn donkey shall be redeemed by sacrificing a lamb. If a firstborn donkey is not redeemed, break its neck.
• Don't appear before God empty.
• Don't work on the Sabbath. Keep the Sabbath day holy.
• Three times a year every male must appear before God.
• When you make blood sacrifices to God, don't include any leavened bread.
• Don't delay in offering your first fruits and liquors to God.
• Don't boil a young goat in its mother's milk.

What would your 10 commandments say? I bet we can all do better than the Abrahamic god.

Why is God so angry when his children disobey?

God knows all things and has an ineffable plan, right?

• 1st John 3:20 For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things.
• Acts 15:8 Known to God from eternity are all his works
• Proverbs 15:3 The eyes of the LORD are in every place, keeping watch on the evil and the good
• Isaiah 46:10 Declares the end from the beginning, and from ancient times things which have not been done, saying, 'My purpose will be established, and I will accomplish all my good pleasure

He even knew that Jesus would have to come to die on the cross (to forgive the sins he knew we were going to commit in advance by sacrificing himself to himself) before he even created the world.

• 1st Peter 1:20 He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last times for your sake.

So basically he knew in advance everything that was going to happen. From before he created the Earth he knew that man would fail again and again and again. He knew we couldn't live up to his rules.

He knew Adam and Eve Would Fail.

He knew Cain would kill Abel.

He knew he would drown millions of living things.

He knew that he would harden Pharoah's heart and kill all the firstborn children of Egypt.

(He even knew Hollywood Moses would be a white guy)

He knew the Israelites would turn to other gods, ask for water and meat, be afraid of the Ammonites and every other thing they did that was not pleasing in his eyes. He knew every time they were going to disobey. 

He knew all these things and created this particular universe with all these failures anyway. Every one single of them part of his ineffable (un-fuck-up-able) plan... and he still created it exactly that way.

And even though he created it knowing that everything was going to happen just the way it happened...

He still gets mad. 

He still punishes people, he still kills people (Just read numbers) and he still sends people to Hell for doing exactly what his supposedly holy plan required.

He required suffering from good people. He allowed the bad to prosper and in fact made them that way.

I'm sure some apologist will come to correct me with the, "No, you send yourself to hell by rejecting god" That is bullshit, we just showed that is absolutely not true. If God knew in advance that we would fail again and again and again and specifically created this world with these failed people and it's part of his super deluxe really cool divine plan and couldn't have happened any other way then we were set up to fail.

If he knew this all before the world began then the free will argument is an absolute myth. We could not have made any other choices than the choices we made.

And still, he gets mad... again and again and again.

Of course, I don't believe any of this. How can you?

Oh... and he knew I'd write this... it's all part of his plan!

Jesus Creates the first Deviled Ham, while ruining a Pig Farmers life..

Do you love Deviled Ham? I rarely have it, but I like it. By today's standards, "Deviled" just means to make spicy. Usually with Cayenne, Hot Peppers or Mustard, things of that nature. You can Devil up all kinds of foods, such as Eggs, Chicken and even Turkey.

Mmmmmm Deviled Ham... Yummy

But is that what it meant 2000 years ago when Jesus created the first Deviled Ham? What?you didn't know Jesus created the first Devil Ham? What do they teach you in Bible school these days?

It happened in Matthew 8:28-34, Mark 5:1-17, and Luke 8:26-37

See Jesus and the fellas had traveled into the country of Gaderenes and was met by a man possessed by a whole buncha demons. I mean a lot of demons. Not just one or two (or seven like Mary Magdelene had in Mark 16:9). In fact, there were so many Demons that Matthew thought it was two men who were possessed, but the other two Gospels think it was just one guy, so maybe whoever wrote the book of Matthew was high). 

So anyway this guy (or two guys) was really fucking possessed. He lived in the tombs and was constantly screaming and gnashing himself with rocks and I guess having that many demons inside you gives you some kind of super-strength because the dude could break chains and could not be bound.

Anyway, the guy(or guys) sees Jesus and runs up to him saying, "What business do we have with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God, do not torment me!" And Jesus said, "What is your name? (red letters, just like a real bible)" To which the man replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many." and then the demons inside the man implored Jesus not to send them out of the country.

I don't know why... maybe Gaderenes was really nice that time of year.

Anyway, I guess Jesus, big softie that he is decided to let them come out of the man and to go into a herd of swine that was nearby. Jesus must not have thought it out to well though, for once the demons were in the swine they went bat shit crazy. 2000 demon-possessed pigs then ran off a cliff and drowned in the sea. 

Probably a good thing the killed themselves... demon pigs are scary as fuck!

So then the herdsman seeing this ran away and told everyone in the city and country what had happened and how this holy man Jesus had created the very first Deviled Ham. No one got to taste that deviled ham though, and that's probably a good thing.

Of course, before going and telling everyone all over the countryside about this crazy cool miracle, someone probably went and told the owner of the pigs. I'm assuming someone owned the pigs, because why else would you have herdsmen watching them.

Anyway, although it's not in the bible I am pretty sure we know what the owner of the pigs probably said. He probably sat down, cried a little while and then looked up knowing his lively hood had been all but destroyed. He probably thought about the other times this Jesus guy had cast out demons without sending them into other animals. He probably said, "Fuck Jesus!"

I don't know what pig meat went for back then... but today. Pig meat sells for between $2-$4 a pound with an average of $3.50. The average weight at slaughter is 265lbs. By today's standards Jesus cost this guy $1,855,000. Over a million dollars... and yet people buy this bullshit!

And that's the story of how Jesus created the first Deviled Ham and ruined a pig farmer's life.

The End? 

Until the pigs crawl out of the sea for the sequel... Demon Pigs From Hell Part II

Could this be actual evidence the pig demons were real?

Hey, leave a comment! Pig puns welcome!

Sure Jesus cured the blind man... but just so he could show off!

Today I listened to the Gospel of John (I'm a driver and I'm always listening to something). In it, Jesus cures a blind man (John 9:1-12). When the Pharisees asked who sinned (and caused the blindness) the man or his parents, Jesus told them neither. He was born blind just so Jesus could prove God's power.

Curing a blind man = GOOD
Causing a man to be born blind just so you can cure him later = DICK

So... he suffered through his entire life blind, and he was thought sinful (because that's where they thought blindness came from) and had to beg for a living just so God could flex his muscle with a miracle at the proper time.

Side Note: This story also makes it clear infirmities and disease are the result of sin. Do modern Christians actually believe this was the case? Is it still so?

A god like that either doesn't exist or he is unworthy of being considered good. Of course, there are thousands of examples like this, but I read it today and it stood out as an abhorrent action from a god that people claim embodies love and goodness.

It also utterly refutes the claim that God respects free will. I believe this is an even better example of god not respecting free will than even the story of God hardening Pharaoh's heart (so that he could send plagues against Pharoah to show off his power), at least in the Pharoah story he had done something to deserve it be enslaving God's people. Here God is just being a dick to an innocent man.

Of course, Christians will say things like, who are we to question the will of the one true living God! His ways are above us! He is all good and we can't possibly understand. Bro, I think it is you guys who make excuses for this loving god every time he shows himself to be a monster that doesn't understand.

Was Jesus smoking the Devil's Lettuce?

There are a growing number of people claiming that Jesus (if he was real) was using Cannabis Oil in his anointing oil to cure people. I haven't given this any thought since I have never read anything that claims CBD heals leprosy or brings the dead back to life. However, I just recently read the gnostic Gospel of Thomas. It's a book of Jesus' sayings that didn't make the bible (it wasn't found until later, but dates to about the same time as the biblical gospels) It is short (114 verses) but has given me a new perspective.

You can listen to the Gospel of Thomas here - it's short, less than an hour.

If Jesus was real he and his disciples were on really good drugs.

For instance:

Verse 60: <They saw> a Samaritan carrying a lamb on his way to Judea. He said to his disciples, "That man is round about the lamb."

They said to him, "So that he may kill it and eat it."

He said to them, "While it is alive, he will not eat it, but only when he has killed it and it has become a corpse."

They said to him, "He cannot do so otherwise."

He said to them, "You too, look for a place for yourself within repose, lest you become a corpse and be eaten."

And the last verse:

Verse 114: Simon Peter said to them, "Make Mary leave us, for females don't deserve life."

Jesus said, "Look, I will guide her to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every female who makes herself male will enter the kingdom of Heaven."

What do you think, was the Christian lord and savior smoking the devil's lettuce?

For even more mind-blowing fun.... look up the Gospel of Mary!

Fat People Shouldn't be allowed to get married, they'll just live in sin together.

I am a fat guy! I am using the following post to make a point about the hypocrisy of the evangelical right. I am not bashing fat guys. With all the worrying about Gays getting married and trans-gendered people coming in and out of the wrong restroom causing such an uproar in the Christian community and the fact that punishment from God above is definitely about to seriously fuck us all up, I was wondering why God is so focused on the LGBT community.

Why does it bother God so much? Why do so many other sins seem to be okay now? I'm pretty sure you have been going into bathrooms with trans-gendered people without incident for years and years. All of us have.

Why are fat people given a pass? I'm a fat guy (right now at least. I lose, I gain, I can never stay thin) and so if I was a Christian I would have to wonder why God is giving me and so many others such a pass while being so angry at people for who they are attracted to or for not identifying with their birth gender.

Especially since the sin of Sodom was not homosexuality according to Ezekiel16:49 "this was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fullness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her and in her daughters, neither did she strengthen the hand of the poor and needy."

Fullness of bread is just another way to say Gluttony. No mention of the gay sex though.... curious.

Gluttony is mentioned in the bible many times. In Proverbs, Deuteronomy, the Apostle Paul even calls it a disgrace in in 1st Corinthians 11:16. But Christians seem to have completely forgot about this sin.

These are preachers.

Role models for their congregations

But this isn't a problem for them.

God is apparently not concerned about these guys or the millions of gluttonous congregants in churches. Nor is he concerned about divorce, working on the Sabbath, not taking care of the poor or anything else proscribed by his holy book.

Even though Jesus never mentioned gay people even one time, and even though the admonitions against it come only from Moses and Paul it is obviously the most important fight there is for the Christian right.

So anyway... let's get back to gluttony. The bible says in Matthew 7 to cast the beam out of your own eye before casting the mote out of your brothers. Is that really what you Christians are doing here?

So why aren't we afraid of fat guys going into bathrooms and giving candy bars to our kids? Why are gluttonous people allowed to Preach? Why are they allowed to marry? I know my wife and I are gluttonous together. Quite often in fact. Why aren't you assholes with your smug sense of superiority and knowledge of exactly what your holy father wants picketing me? Why can a fat lady like the one above run rampant through a Target and cause trouble when the bible says to stone Gluttons in Deuteronomy 21?

I'm guessing its because you have a lot of fat people in your congregations, and divorced people, and lovers of money, and so many other things your book says are wrong. I'm betting it hits to close to home. You probably have fat family members and fat friends. You might even be fat yourself, or divorced, and you would never think about removing that plank from your own eye. Would you?

What sacrifice?

God loves you. God loves you so much that he sacrificed his only begotten son so that you might be forgiven of your sins and have eternal life in Heaven.

An omnipotent being of immense power created you. Decided you were a sinner and condemned you to hell for all eternity but then decided to give you a way out. Apparently he couldn’t just say,” Apologize and be forgiven.”  No, this omnipotent being could only forgive us if something dies in our place.  How is that for omnipotence?  Who made that rule?

How big of a sacrifice was it really anyway. Jesus is immortal right? He came to Earth and was made man. That seems like quite a step down if you ask me. I think he would want to get that sacrafice part over and back to being a god as quick as possible. He lived as a man for about 30 years. Then he was crucified, died and was buried. Okay, so now he is dead. If he stayed dead I would consider this a big sacrifice. An immortal being actually laying down his life for us would be a pretty big deal. But, he doesn’t. On the third day he rose again from the dead and is seated at the right hand of God the father. That doesn’t really sound like that big of a sacrifice. So basically he didn't die for our sins, rather he was inconvenienced at best.

Actual last words. "This is really screwing up my weekend!"

Christians love to tell parables about modern parents sacrificing their child for the greater good. one good example of this kind of story follows.

The Bridge of Life - John Griffeth lived in the western part of the United States during the depression years of dustbowls, dryness and drought. Married in 1929, the Griffeths watched their farming dreams blow into dust. Finally, they gathered their little son with their meager belongings and moved east.

There John landed a job at the Mississippi River tending a drawbridge. One summer day in 1937, he took his son to spend the day with him. Wide-eyed and full of questions, Greg watched his father as he raised the bridge to let the ships pass, then lowered it for the great trains to roar across the river.

About noon, John put up the bridge and sat with Greg on an observation platform to eat their lunches. They enjoyed the activity on the waterfront. John dreamed about traveling so he told Greg stories about the ships and where they were headed. He was so caught up in the stories that he lost consciousness of time. Suddenly he was awakened by the shrill whistle of a locomotive. He glanced at his watch, noting that it was nearly time for the Memphis Express. 

John made his way to the gear-room, sat on the stool and took the lever in hand. He looked up the river and back down to see if any ships were coming. Then he glanced below ... Wait! No! No! This can't be! Terror gripped him as his heart leaped into his throat and his blood froze in his veins! Evidently, Greg tried to follow his father, slipped off the catwalk and fell into the massive gears below. His leg was caught and as sure as the sun rises in the morning, if the bridge was lowered six tons of revolving metal would grind him to death! 

Mind spinning, John frantically sought for answers! He thought, "I'll run back, tie a rope, let myself down..." -- but, no! There was not a third of the needed time.

John moaned! He was trembling and perspiring as his eyes brimmed with tears. The shrill cry of the train whistle was alarmingly close. More than anything, he wanted to spare his son; but if he did many would die! There was no other way to spare their lives! Stricken and overwhelmed with grief, John bowed his quivering head, covered his eyes, and released the lever. The gear room shook as the wheels turned and the great bridge settled down into place. In moments it was over and the Memphis Express came roaring past.

John lifted his head and looked in the train. There a man read the morning news, the conductor was looking at his watch, and a woman in the dining car was feeding her little girl with a long spoon. No one noticed the heart-broken Griffeth. No one was aware of the grieving father or the newly torn body of his dear son. Choking with passion John called out, "What's the matter with you people? I just GAVE MY SON for you! Don't you even care?" Nobody heard; nobody looked; nobody knew and no one responded as the train disappeared across the river.

It is a sad, heat rending story of sacrifice. It’s also very grisly and horrific. Some Christians even claim it is true. Who knows, it could be, but it is very as by 1937, every drawbridge should have been protected by signals that would stop the train if the bridge was not down and locked. But think about the story as an allegory to God’s sacrifice of his only son. I feel for the man in the story, but would I still feel for him as strongly if I realized he got his son back whole and healthy three days later? Would the story be as anguished if knew father and son would be reunited in just a few short days? It kind of loses the emotional impact doesn’t it? We can still feel for the child’s pain and anguish, but, if he comes back to life after a few short days, that’s about it.

Christians, why won’t you die for me? You are going to Heaven after you die right? Currently I am going to Hell by everything you believe. Shouldn't you be willing to die for me, or for anyone who believes differently than you do? You know you’re waking up in Heaven. It is a wonderful happy place in the bosom of God. You know I am going straight to Hell. (Hint, if you actually believed in Heaven and the "message" of Jesus you would be.)

Are you not supposed to “Love your neighbor as yourself”? If so you should be willing to take a bullet for anyone of a different religion such as Islam or Hinduism, or even a godless Antichrist such as me. Instead of fighting them, you should be dying for them. Perhaps, by your gracious sacrifice they would be saved. Seeing you giving up your life for them might touch their hearts and bring them at last into God’s bosom.

But you’re not willing to die for me are you? You're ready to lecture me, persecute me, and pray for me, even kill me but you would never die for me. Why not?

Christian Crusaders vs. Muslim Jihadists

Not all of us in America think there is a difference between the Christian right and Islamic Radicals. Like the Crusaders of old we send our knights in to kill those of different faiths. We justify it with the mantra that they are trying to do is harm. We call it self defense.

Praying to God for Victory

Bombs dropped from planes kill just as deadly as beheadings. It might not look as horrible but the person is just as dead. We just try not to get our hands quite as dirty. 

People who need these guns are cut from the same cloth as the ones they believe are the threat.

Praying to God for Victory

The main differences between the Christians and the Muslims is the Muslim Satan is left handed and their book has talking bees whereas the Christian bible had talking donkeys.

Praying to God for Victory

Noah's Ark Was Full Of Shit - Animal Shit that is!

This might be the shittiest thing you will ever hear about Noah's Ark.

There are literally hundreds of ways to prove that the story of Noah's Ark is bullshit. But, yet Young Earth Creationist, bible literallists, and the criminally insane rabid fundamentalists sincerely believe it. God's book said he did it, god's book claims it is true, so they gonna believe it. 

Stop looking at me, jackass!

Animals shit. That is a fact of nature. Some of them shit a lot. Many of us would argue that there had to be thousands of different types of animals on that ark, but some of the creationists like to get around the plethora of animals in existence by saying Noah only had to collect two of each kind (which isn't true, more on this later).

As in two generic elephants, not two Asian, two African etc. They justify this with Genesis 6:20 which says, "Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto theeto keep them alive." Based on this they claim the ark could have had as few as 1400 different kinds of animals on it. Ya know what, it's bullshit, but since this blog is about shit, we are going to go ahead and give them that one. We are going to base this blog on just 1400 kinds of animals (That's the exact number claimed on the Ark Encounter website).

SIDE NOTE -  By the way, Ken Ham's $100 MILLION DOLLAR Ark Encounter (that's what it cost to build) actually only has about 40 animal displays and of course, none of them are alive or require upkeep.

Fun Fact #1: it took $100 million to build this monstrosity using all kinds of modern tools and equipment, and hundreds of workers, when the same people building it believe it was built by a 600-year-old guy and his three sons.

Fun Fact #2: Hamm sold the land the park sits on, which is worth $48 million, to his non- profit for $10 dollars to avoid paying taxes on it. 

Genesis 6:21 says he brought food for all those animals, so we have to assume they ate during their journey (we won't worry about where all that food was stored though, several hundred pounds a day just for the elephants, but we will assume there was room). We can also assume that if they were eating they must have been pissing and shitting. Have you ever been to a pet store or the zoo? Have you ever had a pet hamster or mouse? Kitty litter box? Shit smells bad when it is fresh, but it becomes downright toxic when it gets old.

Now lets talk about the Ark itself. Ventilation? Genesis 6:16, "A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it." One window. That is all the ventilation our animals get.

ONLY ONE WINDOW!!!

The "real" boat didn't have these extra windows
Elephants(2) shit 300lbs. per day for about 600lbs

Rhinos(2) shit 50lbs. per day for about 100lbs.

Hippos(2) and Giraffes(2) 100lbs. each for about 400lbs.

Cows(2) and Pigs(2) 60lbs. each. each for about 240 lbs

Horses(2), sheep(2) and goats(2) 25lbs. for about 150lbs

Lions(2) and Tigers(2) and Bears(2) oh my, about 20lbs. of shit each for about 120lbs

That's 1410 pounds of shit per day with just 24 animals, and before you think I already named all the big ones, there are Water Buffalos, Komodo Dragons, Baboons, Koala Bears (they do not count as bears, that's just a name), Alligators, Crocodile, Chimpanzees, Deer, Moose, Ostriches, Wolverines, Badgers, Kangaroos, bigfoot, wookies… in other words a lot of really big friggin animals.

Disclaimer: I couldn't find a good source for animal shit statistics, so I googled until I found some for each animal.

Then there are small animals that can shit their body weight each day and bird shit.
Can you imagine all those birds shitting all over the ark?

By any conservative estimate you have to be looking at a couple tons of shit every single day, not too mention 100s of gallons of piss.

Shit contains methane. Methane is poisonous especially when concentrated. Piss becomes toxic ammonia as it decomposes. Eight people working 24 hours a day could not have kept shoveled 4 tons of shit and cleaned up all that piss.

Depending on how you read Genesis chapter 7 it either rained for seven days, or it rained for the entire 40 days. Either way, they could not open that window for at least 7 days. The build-up of gases would have been toxic long before that. But Genesis 7:24 says they were in that boat 150 days! (actually, gotta admit, I am stunned… I forgot that until I just reread it, 150 days! Rereading makes it clear, they were in the boat 7 days before the flood started, it rained 40 days and took 150 total days until the water receded. Anyone got a better explanation for the verses. Doesn't matter, they wouldn't have lasted a week in all that shit.)

So either Noah's ark was full of shit, or Noah's ark was FULL OF SHIT! Take your pick!

Final Thought: Of course, quite a few Christians don't believe the flood happened at all. Many consider it an allegory, or a parable of some kind or just a myth. I of course absolutely agree with them that a worldwide flood never happened. But here is the problem with that thinking.

Matthew and Luke both trace Jesus' genealogy back to at least King David (although they are both different and Luke traces all  Jesus all the way back to Adam), so uh'm if Noah didn't exist what does that do to Jesus?

The bible also makes it clear that Jesus believed in Noah. Matthew 24:37-39 "37 But as the days of Noah were, so shall also the coming of the Son of man be. 38 For as in the days that were before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day that Noe entered into the ark, 39 And knew not until the flood came, and took them all away; so shall also the coming of the Son of man be.

If Jesus was related to Noah and taught that Noah was real than either the flood had to have happened or the New Testament is verifiably wrong!

---

Now add the fact that the creation museum is telling people that dinosaurs were on Noah's Ark and I don't even want to think about that shit!

I have no way of knowing if this particular shit is a realistic amount of dino shit

Lots of shit here - none of it good shit!

I wrote the original version of this blog on MySpace around 2004 - Last update was 2020. I've been talking shit about Noah for 14 years now! I've wasted too much time on this shit

Leave a comment if you noticed I added bigfoot and wookies to the list of animals.

Born Again Twice Fundamentalist Atheist

I consider myself to be a born again twice fundamentalist atheist. In my mind there are two general categories of Christian in this world (although their is a great deal of disagreement even between these two generalized groups). The first group believes every single word is 100% accurate and true. If the bible says it happened then it had to happen. The second group of Christians believe the bible is partially mythological in nature. They believe in the divinity of Jesus, but they might not believe in Adam or Noah.

The problem I have with the first group is that they have to believe some pretty ridiculous things. Like Balam's talking donkey and angles having sex with humans. They also have to believe God is a good and loving being in spite of doing horribly cruel and down right evil things to his creations. Things like killing 42 children for calling a man bald, or killing 70,000 innocent people because King David took a census, or even worse sending his own creations to burn in hell forever if they find they can't believe in a God who at one time could flood the world, but these days his best miracle is appearing on toast.

Talking Donkey - Good idea in Shrek, bad idea in a Holy Book

The problem with the second group is that the bible traces Jesus' lineage all the way back to Adam. Jesus himself makes references to Noah as if he was real. Some of these Christians even see Hell as a metaphor. They will happily tell you all about how God is love while dismissing all his evil and cruelty. They will cherry pick there way through the bible. The problem with this is that if part of the bible is untrue the entire book has to be cast in doubt.

In this blog I plan to write about the bible, Christianity, other holy book and religions in general. I will tell you why I no longer believe. I will not censor any ones comments but I will argue with you about them. I'll respect your right to an opinion, but I won't always respect the opinion itself.