Heathens Greetings!

Just Remember

No matter what they tell you

Axial Tilt is the Reason For The Season

The Earth Is Not Flat

Virgins Don't Have Babies

There is no war on Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS

& HEATHEN'S GREETINGS

Extremophiles in the Goldilocks Zone

I'm not a science guy...

Let me reiterate that, I am not a science guy.  I wish I was,  but I am a truck driver in West Texas. There are no PHDs after my name. Scientific knowledge has nothing to do with why I am an Atheist. Nothing!

Evolution and adaptation via natural selection, while the best explanation we currently have for life on this planet, had nothing to do with me becoming an Atheist. I read the Bible and realized it did not comport to reality in any meaningful way. It's also not what this blog post is about. 

I am not an expert on the big bang, abiogenesis, genetics, DNA, RNA, or any other scientific gobbelty gook.  I don't know what existed before the big bang if anything. I don't really care either. If you come at me with that old, "How did something come from nothing"?"nonsense, I'm going to be like, bro... first show there was nothing, and even if you show me there was nothing then my answer would still be, I don't know. I'm not arguing about that. Not even worried about it right now, maybe later, probably not. Talk to someone like Aron Ra if you want to fight about that! If don't know who that is, find out!

Argue with me about science? You might as well be arguing with Beaker!

Some sciency guy that does have PHDs is welcome to correct all the mistakes I make in this post. Christian apologists are also welcome to tell me I'm wrong. Bring evidence though, it's more convincing that way.

This post is a refutation, based on my understanding, of one creationist claim by looking at the way the world actually works, and it's only a refutation of that one claim. 

The claim goes something like this: the Earth is at the exact correct distance to support life, and all of the various universal laws and constants have had to work together in planned harmony in order for life to arise anywhere and therefore a creator must have put it there. What they really mean though, is life as WE know it! It's called the Fine-Tuned Universe Argument. The universe is fine-tuned --- therefore God.

The Earth specific part of the claim is what I want to address here. I have also seen some making the additional claim that if the universe had been just 10%, or 5% or even 1% different in its orbit (some even say 10ft) closer or farther away we would either burn up or freeze to death or never have existed in the first place.

Just one of the many fine-tuning arguments!

My response is... nuh-uh! There ya go, completely refuted. Nuh-uh should literally put a stop to that shit. But just in case it doesn't let's talk about a couple more things.

Firstly, Eath's orbit varies wildly. It has an elliptical orbit that changes by millions of miles during the year. It can be as close as 91 million miles or as far away as 94 million miles. Maybe 3 million miles doesn't sound like a lot, but the Earth is less than 8000 miles across. which means you could fit 3750 Earth's end to end in that space. Not exactly a nice circular orbit.

See how that's not a circle? None of them are...

By the way, this assumes the reader understands and accepts the reality of a heliocentric universe. If your a flat Earther or otherwise don't understand that we live on a sphere that rotates a sun and not the other way around (like your holy books say) then I can't help you, bro.

A big part of the argument comes the fact Earth is in what is called the Goldilocks Zone (kind of like the Twilight Zone.. but gold?) Basically it is the area in a solar system in which liquid water can survive, and thus life as we know it can form and be sustained. Life as WE know it is an important thing to remember there.

An important thing to understand though is that at the time (in the 70s) that scientists started defining what was a habitable area they made certain assumptions. They thought life couldn't survive in anything colder than Antarctica or hotter than scalding water, they assumed that life as we know it is all the life that can be. 

What we now know though is that life adapts to its environment over time and if the environment changes the animal either adapts or dies. In other words, the world was not created for life, life adapted to the world.

Like Captain America at the end of the First Avenger!

For Flat Earthers reading this... that was a joke.

The very idea that this world was made for us is silly. This world has millions of ways to kill us. Most of it is completely uninhabitable by humans and our primate ancestors. However, as time has gone by we have discovered that life is about a million times more diverse than those scientists in the 70s assumed when they decided what was a habitable zone. There are diverse forms of life living in just about every part of this world in the most extreme conditions. They live in environments that would quickly kill you and I. We call these creatures Extremophiles. Which the Oxford Dictionary defines as a microorganism, especially an archaean, that lives in conditions of extreme temperature, acidity, alkalinity, or chemical concentration.
 

This is a Tardigrade, also called a Water Bear

If extremophiles have a king, it's this guy!

About a millimeter long, the tardigrade is a polyextremophile. They can withstand temperatures from -328 °F (200 °C) up to 304 °F (151 °C), lack of oxygen and water, and a thousand times the radiation we can take.

They survive is by going into a state of suspended animation, in which body functions temporarily shut down until conditions improve. They can even survive space. Researchers sent a group of living tardigrades to orbit the earth on the outside of a rocket for 10 days. 68% lived through that.

But Extromphiles are micro-organisms you say, they don't really count in your opinion? You still think this goldilocks thing is the real deal. While these are not extremophiles here are some critters that have adapted to extreme environments in order to survive.

This is the Sailfin Plunderfish. It's what is known as a notothenioid fish (not gonna lie, I just learned that word for this blog). Notothenioid fish basically have anti-freeze proteins called glycoproteins that keep them from freezing to death in the cold Antarctic Waters.  There are over a hundred different species of notothenioid fish and they have been around since before the global cooling off led to the mass extinction of most other species around 42 million years ago.
 

There are literally thousands of other examples of animals who have adapted to environments outside what we once considered survivable. From animals that freeze almost solid in the winter to micro-organisms living in acid and boiling water... 

In my mind, these animals with their obvious adaptations are one hundred percent the best arguments against the fine-tuned universe. It just didn't happen that way.

Tell me why I'm right or wrong in the comments... thanks!

Why don't I believe... does Lot's wife being a-salted have anything to do with it?

I have kind of been in a funk about my blogging lately. Here I am sitting at home all the time in the world and I can't get myself to write. Maybe it's because I can't get people to read the damn thing. I don't know, I think I'm funny. I think I offer some new perspectives on a lot of atheist arguments but I don't know how to grow my readership. I love to debate believers, but can't seem to get anyone to challenge me here.

Anyway, someone asked in an atheist vs. theist group I'm in today why we gave up religion, and even though I wrote a little bit about my deconversion in the about me section this kind of adds to what I wrote there and what think about the bible.

Anyway, this was the question as they asked it (I have not changed it, the bad grammar is theirs): Would you elaborate the reason of becoming an Atheist, other than never see God with naked eye? 

A lot of my fellow atheists stuck to a simple, no good evidence response. I wanted to give a little more than that.

Here is my response:
I objectively looked at the world around me and realized it in no way shape or form matched the bible. In fact, I was studying to become a minister at the time. I was in a class about the Pentateuch (first five books of the bible) when I realized it literally could not have happened.

The insane cruelty this god being exhibited both in his actions and his commands was a problem for anyone thinking this was a good or loving god, but these are unbelievable:

• Talking snakes
• Worldwide floods
• Giants 
• Women sleeping with angels creating giants  
• Towers that reached into Heaven
• God wrestling with Jacob
• God killing the firstborn of Egypt for his glory.
• Blood Sacrifice
• David cutting off the foreskins of 200 Philistines

• Samson's Hairy Strength

• Lot's wife getting salty (or maybe a-salted?)
• The sun standing still in the sky and not going down (the sun actually doesn't rise or set, we rotate on our axis while traveling around it. I'm no scientist but stopping the world from spinning would really mess up gravity)

... and about a million other stories that couldn't have happened all leading to the new testament.

The new testament:

• Written by unknown authors decades after the events in them were supposed to have happened
• With two different genealogies for Jesus both ending at Joseph (and apparently he had two different dads) and both going back to King David. (Luke's even goes all the way to Adam).
• Different last words for Jesus in each Gospel.
• The claim that prayer works when it verifiably doesn't (see more below).
• Jesus said his some of his disciples would still be alive on his return, they aren't.
• Dead Saints getting up and walking around when Jesus died, yet no other historians thought to mention that and it only appears in Matthew.
• And lastly.. for now... the unbelievable insanity of a god needing to sacrifice itself in order to forgive us for violating his dictates when he could just decide to forgive us.

Prayer doesn't work, even though the Bible assures us that "Ask and we shall receive", Christians had to change so their god answers prayer with a yes, no, or wait (Isn't that a cute cop-out?) Miracle healings never involve raising the dead or even regrowing limbs. 

It's not just Christianity either!
In hindsight, I wish I had also added that I find the Quran just as silly. To me the biggest differences in the Quran from the bible are in addition to a talking snake we have talking ants (that King Solomon can somehow understand -it's true, it's in there) and talking birds. Also, Muslim Satan is left-handed. Seriously, in my mind, that's about it. 

Ants talk in the Quran and can be heard 27:18-19

Anyway, this was mostly to force myself to start writing again. Hopefully, someday I can get people to read it. So if you like any of my blogs please share.

Tell me what your reasons for accepting or rejecting a god belief are in the comments, and please notice I said rejecting a god belief... I don't reject your god, I just don't believe in it.

Christianity is not a beautiful thing.you unworthy ass wretch!

My children were not born sinful, let's get that shit out of the way right now. Neither was I, and neither were you. There was no Garden of Eden, snakes don't talk to people, and fruit doesn't impart knowledge. There is no such thing as original sin.

In fact, there is no such thing as sin at all. There is good and there is bad and what is good and bad changes over time. For instance, we know slavery is bad. We came to this knowledge over time and as society advanced. I'm not going to get into the bible's clear endorsement of slavery in this blog (Exodus 21 among others), but it is a fact that our moral compass has changed and improved in this issue and many others since biblical times.

Sin is something else though, apart from good or bad. Sin is something we are born with, but at the same time, it is something we can acquire. 

We can acquire it by physically breaking any of literally hundreds of rules, but we can also acquire it just by thinking about breaking those rules. We can know we broke it, or we can be ignorant, but it still counts. At any time this god can decide that something else is a sin (things like taking a census or calling a man bald) and it still counts.

You are an evil sinning wretch, let's sing about it!

Sin is a way of convincing people that they are broken, worthless and even evil simply because they exist. Sin is meant to create a phony product called redemption, and all you have to do to get it is fervently believe in a magic man in the sky who loves you, but can't even be bothered to prove he really exists.

In fact, the Bible teaches that no man is sinless. So we have a god being who gave us this impossible to follow set of rules that guarantee we will become this worthless wretched thing. In other words, if he was real, he set us up to fail. We had no choice and no chance.

Redemption from sin is like an ad campaign for an invisible product created and perpetuated by the world's best bullshit artists whether you call them ministers, preachers, priests or televangelists.  The better these bullshit artists are at convincing you that you are a worthless heap of trash that their god watches over constantly and loves you infinitely, while at the same time he's willing to destroy us and/or punish us eternally the more they are able to sell the product. 

The top 8 preachers in this country are worth over $1 billion dollars!

The problem is this god creature if it was real, it's a monster in every sense of the word. Not only did it kill millions with floods, plagues, and supernatural shenanigans (like turning people into salt or sending she-bears to kill them) throughout the Old Testament in the New Testament it became somehow even worse while convincing it's adherents that it was being kinder and more loving. 

The worst part is that all of it is perpetuated on this horrible idea of sin and how this loving god needs or needed us to torture and kill something in order for him to forgive us for it. 

We literally can't be forgiven for naturally occurring evil inside us unless something dies!

Originally what died was animals, by the hundreds (there were grain offerings, but those didn't affect sin). People would have to bring only the completely unblemished animals to the priests who would perform ritual slaughter. Pour a little blood on an altar and then burn the sacrifice and whamo blamo your sins were forgiven. Then after you bought your redemption and went home the priests ate the barbecue. In the Old Testament through this wasn't done in the hope of getting into Heaven or avoiding Hell, at this time it was to avoid being wiped out by a god directly. This was to help you avoid plagues and sickness and as a people to avoid bigger problems like drought. In no way did these people seem to think that a sacrifice in this life bought you anything in the next life.

The New Testament with its new sacrifice changed all that. It somehow made it fucking worse!

Don't worry, you still get to be an unworthy evil piece of shit wretch though, and now you get the added bonus of being eligible for an eternity burning in Hell, you can also apparently eat shellfish and bacon though, so it's not all bad.

So about this time the Abrahamic god must have started looking around and realized that the other gods were starting to have afterlives for their followers (especially after that prick Dionysus) and he decided to get in on that action.

Dionysus was one of the first god beliefs to claim an afterlife

but he was mostly known for partying.

 He decided he'd go ahead and bring his believers up to Heaven when they died, and he would have the added bonus of getting them to sing his praises all the time and forever. That might also be just as good as the smell of burnt flesh.

He wanted to something different than the same old animal sacrifices (and the priests were getting tired of the blood since they could just take the money and buy some take out on the way home) But how would he get them up here? He could have decided to just forgive everyone and let them in, but where is the glory in that? You can't have glory without the gory!

So this god decided to send his son (who is also himself) to sacrifice himself for us by letting beat him bloody and nail him to a cross where he would slowly suffocate and die in excruciating pain (well, not really die since he came back to life a couple days later). Because of this horrific bloody gory dead, but not really dead sacrifice we don't have to slaughter other animals anymore.

Of course, symbolically we still need to support the bullshit artists, but we can do that with cold hard cash and by giving them tax-exempt status on their loot, and we also and most importantly have to accept that Jesus really did this for us and accept him into our hearts and you automatically get into Heaven no matter what shit you did before you gave your soul to Jesus.

If you don't accept that this really happened and you don't accept Jesus' love into your worthless sinning wretched evil piece of shit heart than you get to go to HELL and burn forever and ever for the crime of not believing in Jesus or accepting his sacrifice. Try to do good with your life, help others and forward humanity but fail to accept this sacrifice on nothing more than faith and reassurances of the bullshit artists, you are going straight to HELL.

In summary - you're an evil piece of shit and you're going to HELL, but we can sell you a loophole! Nothing beautiful or wonderful about that.

Sacrilegious Sunday Stand Up - Week Two

In a shameless attempt to get more readers, and hopefully get repeat visits to this blog, I have decided to feature my favorite God  mocking  lampooning comic routines each Sunday. 

Got a recommendation - leave it in the comments!

Tim Minchin - Thank You God!

Sacrilegious Stand Up Sunday - Week One

In a shameless attempt to get more readers, and hopefully get repeat visits to this blog, I have decided to feature my favorite God  mocking  lampooning comic routines each Sunday. 

Got a recommendation - leave it in the comments!

George Carlin --- Religion is Bullshit

A Better Ten Commandments!

I'm taking this from another of my blogs because I really like these commandments and think they deserve their own blog entry. You can see the original blog post here.

It's pretty obvious that the bible is not a moral guide, no amount of pretending can change that fact. Only a couple of the actual Ten Commandments have anything to do with an actual moral code, and as many, many people have said all you would have to do is write "Don't fucking own people" and you will have created a more moral book than the Holy Bible.

This is what most consider to be the 10 Commandments

Thou shalt not lie, steal or kill are pretty much the only good ones.

The rest, I think we can pretty much do a lot better.

These are not the actual 10 according to the bible, more about that at the end...

With that in mind, I present my own 10 commandments. I find them much more moral, even if I use the word FUCK a lot!

I  AM THE LORD YOUR GOD...

...and These are my holy commandments and I expect you fucks to obey. Except maybe the first two, they were practice and got left in because I was feeling lazy and I really wanted there to be ten. Also, we aren't going to do the whole "Hell" thing (so I'm really not sure where that Satan dude lives) but you might have to answer to actual human authorities for being a dick, or maybe we will make you stand in a corner for a millennia or two. The point is fear my wrath asshole!

1.  Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fish even if it's Branzini which is really tasty.
2.  Thou shalt go to a doctor and get that thing looked at. 
3. Thou shalt not lie, cheat, steal, kill, rape or own other people as fucking property. 
4.  Thou shalt realize there is some leeway with those first four items for the safety, wellbeing, and health of yourself and others but rape and slavery are fucking no-goes all of the time... forever.
5.  Thou shall get your children fucking vaccinated and take them to the doctor or hospital when sick. I gave you the science, fucking use it. Also if you make fun of the Anti-vaxxers  but don't believe in climate change science, shut the hell up and respect the Earth anyway.
6.  Thou shalt be as kind as possible to animals, even the food ones for they sustain you, cause them no unnecessary pain. 
7.  Thou shalt be kind to your fellow man and to yourself and when you fail in this you will apologize to them (or yourself), not me! Then actually try not to do it again.
8.  There is no holy land anywhere ever and the only chosen people are the ones who are truly kind. At the same time treat the land as if it is holy, and no, that doesn't mean fight over it.
9.  Thou shalt leave people who are not harming you the fuck alone.  This includes LGBTQ people and people with different levels of melatonin in their skin and even people you just don't fucking like. Side note - this does not mean you have to respect their unproven or delusional beliefs.  It doesn't mean you can't call them out for crazy shit or stop them from hurting themself or others, you can do all that while still respecting them. 
10.  Don't be a dick. Also, it's okay to say fuck, I do it a lot.  It's just a word. 

Who was the better Moses? Tell me in the comments!

Oh, and what about those real 10 Commandments? Exodus 34 has the replacement set for the ones Moses smashed at Mt. Sinai.

Exodus 34:28 plainly states that these are The 10 Commandments. By the way, if it seems like there are more then 10, you are obviously mistaken. God can count to 10 better than you can!

The bible also claims these are exactly the same as the first... and of course, except for being nothing like the first set, they are exactly the same!

• Don't make treaties with people who believe in other gods.
• Conquer people who believe in other gods and destroy their religious property.
• Worship the god whose name is Jealous.
• Don't make any molten gods.
• Celebrate three feasts during the year: unleavened bread, the first harvest, and the last harvest.
• Every firstborn donkey shall be redeemed by sacrificing a lamb. If a firstborn donkey is not redeemed, break its neck.
• Don't appear before God empty.
• Don't work on the Sabbath. Keep the Sabbath day holy.
• Three times a year every male must appear before God.
• When you make blood sacrifices to God, don't include any leavened bread.
• Don't delay in offering your first fruits and liquors to God.
• Don't boil a young goat in its mother's milk.

What would your 10 commandments say? I bet we can all do better than the Abrahamic god.

Birth Pangs and Really Bad Apologetics concerning the genealogies of Jesus.

This blog post is not meant to disprove any god. Not even the Christian one (in fact nothing I ever write can disprove god)

So, if you read it, and then come at me and say it doesn't disprove your god, well... your correct, I literally just told you that. I expect someone will do it anyway.

What it is meant to do is refute one really bad apologetics talking point.

We all know there are contradictions in the bible. Some Christians accept this fact, saying that while the bible is divinely inspired it was written by men and they make mistake (which in my mind means you can't trust any of it without just picking and choosing which parts you believe).

Others though will cling to a belief that they are just "apparent" contradictions. Any contradiction in the bible can and have been explained. In my humble opinion, a lot of these reconciliations seem like something they just pulled out of there asses, but maybe they prayed earnestly and God gave them the answer (which he pulled out of his infinite ass).

One of these apparent contradictions is the genealogies given in Matthew and Luke for Jesus. Both trace Jesus' lineage all the way back to the line of David (Luke's even goes all the way back to Adam).

The actual purpose of either lineage was to give Jesus the correct pedigree!

Since Jesus came from God, Joseph's genealogy as stepfather should have been irrelevant.

Thing is, after a certain point (After the lists split off from King David) there are a lot fewer names in Matthews's lineage than in Luke's and apparently, they both give Joseph (Masry's husband) a different father. Matthew calls his dad Jocob and Luke calls his dad Heli. It seems like a pretty cut and dry example of a contradiction right?

"Wrong! You are wrong. Stop being a stupid atheist in your stupid atheist's lack of understanding ways! Matthew was a Jew and they were Patriarchal... you dumbass atheist," I imagine them saying, "and Luke was written for Gentiles and for some reason I'm going to claim the Gentiles were a matriarchal society and that therefore the genealogy in Luke is for Mary and they just said it was for Joeseph because. That's why!"

See, they even helpfully changed Joseph to Mary and drew an arrow

Apparent Contradiction FIXED! Why am I even writing this? It's solved!

FUCK!

And then, boy will I feel really fucking stupid! I might cry, I might stop writing...

Or I might think about it.

First I'd challenge them to find any other genealogy that terminates at a father when it actually meant the mother. I'd ask them to prove to me it was actually done that way. There must be historical examples in order for them to make that kind of claim right? I'll assume so... you can assume it too because then we get to the fun part. Let's do math! (Actually, I hate math, but.. yet it's still the fun part)

Okay, so if you look at the graphic above (you know the one that fixes everything) then you will notice that they had to use a really small font on one side and add a space between lines on the other. In other words, the maternal line for Jesus (Luke's genealogy) has a shit ton (actual measurement term) more names than the one for Joseph (Matthew's).

In fact, after the supposed intermarriage that both genealogies agreed on Luke has 18 names before it gets to Joseph (Mary in the graphic above) while Matthew's Gospel only has 9.

So let's assume that all the wives of the men represented in Matthews lineage had these children at the average age of 20 (They might have had others when younger, this would be pretty old for a first child at the time). There are 9 men on the list from Zerubbabel to Joseph.

If their wives had the children listed at the ripe old age of 20 and there are 9 names to account for we get 180 years. Maybe these were all second or third children, so it's possible. They could have had these kids at the average age of 20.

So... 180 years, maybe a few more or less.

So 180 divided by 18 (that can't be right, hold on... let me count it again. yep 18) that gives us... U'hm 10. So the average age that each woman represented in Luke's genealogy would be 10.

AVERAGE AGE 10

That's not Mary's age, that's the average age everyone in her line had to give birth in order for one of the lineages to belong to Joseph and the other to belong to Mary.

I would think Jesus rising from the dead may be more probable then this apologetic explanation.

"Okay Atheist, look, the one in Matthew is just missing a bunch of names you dick!", my completely fictitious apologetic spouting friend might say. Okay, so then it's not very fucking useful as a genealogy then is it? (Actually, one really did say this to me today, but just without calling me a dick. That's called embellishment for effect and I'm very immature for adding it)

Think about that for a while... then remember it that apologists will say just about anything to make the bible say what they want it to say.

Then if you want to open a whole other can of worms check out the apocryphal Gospel of James and you find out Mary's dad's name was Joachim. He's a Catholic Saint. (In case you don't know apocryphal books are ones that almost made it into the bible, such as the Apocalypse of Peter, which is where we get most of our ideas of Hell)

Jesus Creates the first Deviled Ham, while ruining a Pig Farmers life..

Do you love Deviled Ham? I rarely have it, but I like it. By today's standards, "Deviled" just means to make spicy. Usually with Cayenne, Hot Peppers or Mustard, things of that nature. You can Devil up all kinds of foods, such as Eggs, Chicken and even Turkey.

Mmmmmm Deviled Ham... Yummy

But is that what it meant 2000 years ago when Jesus created the first Deviled Ham? What?you didn't know Jesus created the first Devil Ham? What do they teach you in Bible school these days?

It happened in Matthew 8:28-34, Mark 5:1-17, and Luke 8:26-37

See Jesus and the fellas had traveled into the country of Gaderenes and was met by a man possessed by a whole buncha demons. I mean a lot of demons. Not just one or two (or seven like Mary Magdelene had in Mark 16:9). In fact, there were so many Demons that Matthew thought it was two men who were possessed, but the other two Gospels think it was just one guy, so maybe whoever wrote the book of Matthew was high). 

So anyway this guy (or two guys) was really fucking possessed. He lived in the tombs and was constantly screaming and gnashing himself with rocks and I guess having that many demons inside you gives you some kind of super-strength because the dude could break chains and could not be bound.

Anyway, the guy(or guys) sees Jesus and runs up to him saying, "What business do we have with each other, Jesus, Son of the Most High God? I implore You by God, do not torment me!" And Jesus said, "What is your name? (red letters, just like a real bible)" To which the man replied, "My name is Legion, for we are many." and then the demons inside the man implored Jesus not to send them out of the country.

I don't know why... maybe Gaderenes was really nice that time of year.

Anyway, I guess Jesus, big softie that he is decided to let them come out of the man and to go into a herd of swine that was nearby. Jesus must not have thought it out to well though, for once the demons were in the swine they went bat shit crazy. 2000 demon-possessed pigs then ran off a cliff and drowned in the sea. 

Probably a good thing the killed themselves... demon pigs are scary as fuck!

So then the herdsman seeing this ran away and told everyone in the city and country what had happened and how this holy man Jesus had created the very first Deviled Ham. No one got to taste that deviled ham though, and that's probably a good thing.

Of course, before going and telling everyone all over the countryside about this crazy cool miracle, someone probably went and told the owner of the pigs. I'm assuming someone owned the pigs, because why else would you have herdsmen watching them.

Anyway, although it's not in the bible I am pretty sure we know what the owner of the pigs probably said. He probably sat down, cried a little while and then looked up knowing his lively hood had been all but destroyed. He probably thought about the other times this Jesus guy had cast out demons without sending them into other animals. He probably said, "Fuck Jesus!"

I don't know what pig meat went for back then... but today. Pig meat sells for between $2-$4 a pound with an average of $3.50. The average weight at slaughter is 265lbs. By today's standards Jesus cost this guy $1,855,000. Over a million dollars... and yet people buy this bullshit!

And that's the story of how Jesus created the first Deviled Ham and ruined a pig farmer's life.

The End? 

Until the pigs crawl out of the sea for the sequel... Demon Pigs From Hell Part II

Could this be actual evidence the pig demons were real?

Hey, leave a comment! Pig puns welcome!

Sure Jesus cured the blind man... but just so he could show off!

Today I listened to the Gospel of John (I'm a driver and I'm always listening to something). In it, Jesus cures a blind man (John 9:1-12). When the Pharisees asked who sinned (and caused the blindness) the man or his parents, Jesus told them neither. He was born blind just so Jesus could prove God's power.

Curing a blind man = GOOD
Causing a man to be born blind just so you can cure him later = DICK

So... he suffered through his entire life blind, and he was thought sinful (because that's where they thought blindness came from) and had to beg for a living just so God could flex his muscle with a miracle at the proper time.

Side Note: This story also makes it clear infirmities and disease are the result of sin. Do modern Christians actually believe this was the case? Is it still so?

A god like that either doesn't exist or he is unworthy of being considered good. Of course, there are thousands of examples like this, but I read it today and it stood out as an abhorrent action from a god that people claim embodies love and goodness.

It also utterly refutes the claim that God respects free will. I believe this is an even better example of god not respecting free will than even the story of God hardening Pharaoh's heart (so that he could send plagues against Pharoah to show off his power), at least in the Pharoah story he had done something to deserve it be enslaving God's people. Here God is just being a dick to an innocent man.

Of course, Christians will say things like, who are we to question the will of the one true living God! His ways are above us! He is all good and we can't possibly understand. Bro, I think it is you guys who make excuses for this loving god every time he shows himself to be a monster that doesn't understand.

Was Jesus smoking the Devil's Lettuce?

There are a growing number of people claiming that Jesus (if he was real) was using Cannabis Oil in his anointing oil to cure people. I haven't given this any thought since I have never read anything that claims CBD heals leprosy or brings the dead back to life. However, I just recently read the gnostic Gospel of Thomas. It's a book of Jesus' sayings that didn't make the bible (it wasn't found until later, but dates to about the same time as the biblical gospels) It is short (114 verses) but has given me a new perspective.

You can listen to the Gospel of Thomas here - it's short, less than an hour.

If Jesus was real he and his disciples were on really good drugs.

For instance:

Verse 60: <They saw> a Samaritan carrying a lamb on his way to Judea. He said to his disciples, "That man is round about the lamb."

They said to him, "So that he may kill it and eat it."

He said to them, "While it is alive, he will not eat it, but only when he has killed it and it has become a corpse."

They said to him, "He cannot do so otherwise."

He said to them, "You too, look for a place for yourself within repose, lest you become a corpse and be eaten."

And the last verse:

Verse 114: Simon Peter said to them, "Make Mary leave us, for females don't deserve life."

Jesus said, "Look, I will guide her to make her male, so that she too may become a living spirit resembling you males. For every female who makes herself male will enter the kingdom of Heaven."

What do you think, was the Christian lord and savior smoking the devil's lettuce?

For even more mind-blowing fun.... look up the Gospel of Mary!

Not a real Christian?

I listen to a lot of Theist vs. Atheist conversations and debates and the same themes come up time and time again. One thing that a lot of Theists don't understand is that many of use were former born again Christians and that studying his word is what made us Atheists.

One of the only ways Christians can wrap their head around that is to declare that we were never true Christians and we were never truly saved. They declare once you believe you cannot stop believing so therefore we must have been deceived.

They can use a multitude of verses to back this up. Things like.

Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved, but he that believeth not shall be damned.

There are a lot of verses like this and it has led to a doctrine of Once Saved, Always Saved in many Christian sects. In other words, someone filled with the power of the Holy Spirit remains saved by grace forever.

Jesus is your get into Heaven free card!

So if it's not true then God, how would we know until it's too late?

I remember when I accepted Christ. I remember standing in front of the congregation in my church tears streaming down my face with everyone's hands on me. I render absolutely believing I was feeling the power of the Holy Spirit of a living God inside me.

I remember all the other times I felt that presence. I would have sworn it was real.  I even believed, truly believed I had spoken in tongues.

I believed so much I wanted to become a preacher and started really studying the bible. I'll save my deconversion story for later, however, I was not angry at God and I didn't want to go sin or do evil. I wanted to follow God and I wanted to spread his word.

So there I was honestly believing that the holy spirit was in me and I was ready to dedicate my life to spreading the word of God. I absolutely 100% believed this.

And yet, apparently, I was deceived. Apparently, my conversion was not real. No matter how much I felt it was true it was obviously false. Of course, as an atheist, I think all conversions are false, but at that time I was a true believer.

So if the theist is right then I have to wonder...

• Why did God allow me to be deceived in his Church?
• How could I have not been deceived after all I prayed and thought it was real?
• Did God know in advance, even before my birth that I was going to be deceived?
• How can anyone justify a God who would allow his followers to be damned for a lie they couldn't help but believe?
• If you're a theist and believe that God would allow me to be deceived how can you possibly know that your own experience is real?

How can a Christian trust any of this? What about your friends and your family? If you serve a God that would allow fake conversions to happen in his holy sanctuary how can you possibly know you, your friends or your family are actually saved? How would you feel if you got into his Heaven and those you knew were doomed to hell because they only thought they were saved?

How in the Hell could you trust anything?

Even worse... what if I'm still saved? Is there a button to OPT OUT? Can I unsubscribe?