Christianity is not a beautiful thing.you unworthy ass wretch!

My children were not born sinful, let's get that shit out of the way right now. Neither was I, and neither were you. There was no Garden of Eden, snakes don't talk to people, and fruit doesn't impart knowledge. There is no such thing as original sin.

In fact, there is no such thing as sin at all. There is good and there is bad and what is good and bad changes over time. For instance, we know slavery is bad. We came to this knowledge over time and as society advanced. I'm not going to get into the bible's clear endorsement of slavery in this blog (Exodus 21 among others), but it is a fact that our moral compass has changed and improved in this issue and many others since biblical times.

Sin is something else though, apart from good or bad. Sin is something we are born with, but at the same time, it is something we can acquire. 

We can acquire it by physically breaking any of literally hundreds of rules, but we can also acquire it just by thinking about breaking those rules. We can know we broke it, or we can be ignorant, but it still counts. At any time this god can decide that something else is a sin (things like taking a census or calling a man bald) and it still counts.

You are an evil sinning wretch, let's sing about it!

Sin is a way of convincing people that they are broken, worthless and even evil simply because they exist. Sin is meant to create a phony product called redemption, and all you have to do to get it is fervently believe in a magic man in the sky who loves you, but can't even be bothered to prove he really exists.

In fact, the Bible teaches that no man is sinless. So we have a god being who gave us this impossible to follow set of rules that guarantee we will become this worthless wretched thing. In other words, if he was real, he set us up to fail. We had no choice and no chance.

Redemption from sin is like an ad campaign for an invisible product created and perpetuated by the world's best bullshit artists whether you call them ministers, preachers, priests or televangelists.  The better these bullshit artists are at convincing you that you are a worthless heap of trash that their god watches over constantly and loves you infinitely, while at the same time he's willing to destroy us and/or punish us eternally the more they are able to sell the product. 

The top 8 preachers in this country are worth over $1 billion dollars!

The problem is this god creature if it was real, it's a monster in every sense of the word. Not only did it kill millions with floods, plagues, and supernatural shenanigans (like turning people into salt or sending she-bears to kill them) throughout the Old Testament in the New Testament it became somehow even worse while convincing it's adherents that it was being kinder and more loving. 

The worst part is that all of it is perpetuated on this horrible idea of sin and how this loving god needs or needed us to torture and kill something in order for him to forgive us for it. 

We literally can't be forgiven for naturally occurring evil inside us unless something dies!

Originally what died was animals, by the hundreds (there were grain offerings, but those didn't affect sin). People would have to bring only the completely unblemished animals to the priests who would perform ritual slaughter. Pour a little blood on an altar and then burn the sacrifice and whamo blamo your sins were forgiven. Then after you bought your redemption and went home the priests ate the barbecue. In the Old Testament through this wasn't done in the hope of getting into Heaven or avoiding Hell, at this time it was to avoid being wiped out by a god directly. This was to help you avoid plagues and sickness and as a people to avoid bigger problems like drought. In no way did these people seem to think that a sacrifice in this life bought you anything in the next life.

The New Testament with its new sacrifice changed all that. It somehow made it fucking worse!

Don't worry, you still get to be an unworthy evil piece of shit wretch though, and now you get the added bonus of being eligible for an eternity burning in Hell, you can also apparently eat shellfish and bacon though, so it's not all bad.

So about this time the Abrahamic god must have started looking around and realized that the other gods were starting to have afterlives for their followers (especially after that prick Dionysus) and he decided to get in on that action.

Dionysus was one of the first god beliefs to claim an afterlife

but he was mostly known for partying.

 He decided he'd go ahead and bring his believers up to Heaven when they died, and he would have the added bonus of getting them to sing his praises all the time and forever. That might also be just as good as the smell of burnt flesh.

He wanted to something different than the same old animal sacrifices (and the priests were getting tired of the blood since they could just take the money and buy some take out on the way home) But how would he get them up here? He could have decided to just forgive everyone and let them in, but where is the glory in that? You can't have glory without the gory!

So this god decided to send his son (who is also himself) to sacrifice himself for us by letting beat him bloody and nail him to a cross where he would slowly suffocate and die in excruciating pain (well, not really die since he came back to life a couple days later). Because of this horrific bloody gory dead, but not really dead sacrifice we don't have to slaughter other animals anymore.

Of course, symbolically we still need to support the bullshit artists, but we can do that with cold hard cash and by giving them tax-exempt status on their loot, and we also and most importantly have to accept that Jesus really did this for us and accept him into our hearts and you automatically get into Heaven no matter what shit you did before you gave your soul to Jesus.

If you don't accept that this really happened and you don't accept Jesus' love into your worthless sinning wretched evil piece of shit heart than you get to go to HELL and burn forever and ever for the crime of not believing in Jesus or accepting his sacrifice. Try to do good with your life, help others and forward humanity but fail to accept this sacrifice on nothing more than faith and reassurances of the bullshit artists, you are going straight to HELL.

In summary - you're an evil piece of shit and you're going to HELL, but we can sell you a loophole! Nothing beautiful or wonderful about that.

From Atheist to Prophet in one Day - Really, Really, Really Young Earth Creationism

Today I went from Atheist to full-blown prophet for the one true God. He spake unto me and made me write the following, there may or may not have been some golden tablets written in revised Egyptian involved.

God can't lie.  The book (okay pamphlet, blog post, or whatever)  says so. I God wrote this through my prophet, therefore it contains no lies and completely proves itself. 

The Earth was created at 12 noon yesterday.  Any evidence or memories you have going back before 12 noon yesterday were put there by Satan (or as I like to call him, my horny adversary) and that includes the date on this blog (whatever the date claims it was yesterday at noon,  God told me so).

These are my holy commandments and I expect you fucks to obey. Except maybe the first two, they were practice and got left in because I was feeling lazy and I really wanted there to be ten. Also, we aren't going to do the whole "Hell" thing (so I'm really not sure where that Satan guy mentioned above lives) but you might have to answer to actual human authorities for being a dick, or maybe we will make you stand in a corner for a millennia or two. The point is fear my wrath asshole!

1) Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's fish even if it's Branzini which is really tasty.
2) Thou shalt go to a doctor and get that thing looked at. 
3)Thou shalt not lie, cheat, steal, kill, rape or own other people as fucking property. 
4) Thou shalt realize there is some leeway with those first four items for the safety, wellbeing, and health of yourself and others but rape and slavery are fucking no-goes all of the time... forever.
5) Thou shall get your children fucking vaccinated and take them to the doctor or hospital when sick. I gave you the science, fucking use it. Also if you make fun of the Anti-vaxxers  but don't believe in climate change science, shut the hell up and respect the Earth anyway.
6) Thou shalt be as kind as possible to animals, even the food ones for they sustain you, cause them no unnecessary pain. 
7) Thou shalt be kind to your fellow man and to yourself and when you fail in this you will apologize to them (or yourself), not me! Then actually try not to do it again.
8) There is no holy land anywhere ever and the only chosen people are the ones who are truly kind. At the same time treat the land as if it is holy, and no, that doesn't mean fight over it.
9) Thou shalt leave people who are not harming you the fuck alone.  This includes LGBTQ people and people with different levels of melatonin in their skin and even people you just don't fucking like. Side note - this does not mean you have to respect their unproven or delusional beliefs.  It doesn't mean you can't call them out for crazy shit or stop them from hurting themself or others, you can do all that while still respecting them. 
10) Don't be a dick. Also, it's okay to say fuck, I do it a lot.  It's just a word. 

My son may or may not be Neil DeGrasse Tyson, but you should really listen to that guy either way. Except about the age of the Earth (because I like already told you that shit). Oh and don't kill him... that does nothing for me. 
Oh, and since prophecy will serve to legitimize this shit I predict there are few who will not accept these words until all is fullfilled (and I don't know what the fuck that means, but someone will interpret it later).

Don't take any of this on faith. It's all provable... and if it's not then be smart enough to stop believing it.  M'kay?

Really, seriously don't covet thy neighbor's fish.

Branzini is good even if you don't like fish!

Not a real Christian?

I listen to a lot of Theist vs. Atheist conversations and debates and the same themes come up time and time again. One thing that a lot of Theists don't understand is that many of use were former born again Christians and that studying his word is what made us Atheists.

One of the only ways Christians can wrap their head around that is to declare that we were never true Christians and we were never truly saved. They declare once you believe you cannot stop believing so therefore we must have been deceived.

They can use a multitude of verses to back this up. Things like.

Mark 16:16 He that believeth and is baptized shall be saved, but he that believeth not shall be damned.

There are a lot of verses like this and it has led to a doctrine of Once Saved, Always Saved in many Christian sects. In other words, someone filled with the power of the Holy Spirit remains saved by grace forever.

Jesus is your get into Heaven free card!

So if it's not true then God, how would we know until it's too late?

I remember when I accepted Christ. I remember standing in front of the congregation in my church tears streaming down my face with everyone's hands on me. I render absolutely believing I was feeling the power of the Holy Spirit of a living God inside me.

I remember all the other times I felt that presence. I would have sworn it was real.  I even believed, truly believed I had spoken in tongues.

I believed so much I wanted to become a preacher and started really studying the bible. I'll save my deconversion story for later, however, I was not angry at God and I didn't want to go sin or do evil. I wanted to follow God and I wanted to spread his word.

So there I was honestly believing that the holy spirit was in me and I was ready to dedicate my life to spreading the word of God. I absolutely 100% believed this.

And yet, apparently, I was deceived. Apparently, my conversion was not real. No matter how much I felt it was true it was obviously false. Of course, as an atheist, I think all conversions are false, but at that time I was a true believer.

So if the theist is right then I have to wonder...

• Why did God allow me to be deceived in his Church?
• How could I have not been deceived after all I prayed and thought it was real?
• Did God know in advance, even before my birth that I was going to be deceived?
• How can anyone justify a God who would allow his followers to be damned for a lie they couldn't help but believe?
• If you're a theist and believe that God would allow me to be deceived how can you possibly know that your own experience is real?

How can a Christian trust any of this? What about your friends and your family? If you serve a God that would allow fake conversions to happen in his holy sanctuary how can you possibly know you, your friends or your family are actually saved? How would you feel if you got into his Heaven and those you knew were doomed to hell because they only thought they were saved?

How in the Hell could you trust anything?

Even worse... what if I'm still saved? Is there a button to OPT OUT? Can I unsubscribe?

You're praying for me... thanks, but...

As atheists, it is very easy to get sarcastic and even downright nasty when someone tells us they are praying for us or praying for anything actually. First off it is definitely presumptuous on the part of the person saying they prayed. Are we supposed to be grateful? Are we supposed to suddenly fall to our knees and believe in their god? Do they actually think telling us they prayed in any way shape or form increases the efficacy of the prayer?

I stole this MEME ~ Love it. Very True

Before we go any further I guess it is important to note I'm not talking about the people who throw, "I'm praying for you", out as some kind of weapon or retort to something you said. Let's get this straight right off the bat, those guys suck. They start with a long horrendous diatribe about how evil and sinful we are followed by a very hollow snide comment that they have asked their god being to help you out. Disingenuous and fake. There is no reason on earth to be nice to these types, and they are not who I'm talking about here.

• I'm talking about the people who actually think they are being helpful.
• I'm talking about the ones who believe prayer works in spite of all the evidence it doesn't.
• I'm talking about the ones who actually believe you have a soul and it is in danger.
• I'm talking about your friends and your family. People who truly care about you.

What do we do about these people? There are seriously good-hearted people who believe you have a soul and it is going to burn in their firey pit of Hell and care enough that they don't want that to happen. I'm talking about people we love and care about who really think they are being helpful.

You will have to decide for yourself what a person's motivation truly is but when it is obvious they mean nothing but the best what do we do?

I think insulting and belittling people with good intentions is wrong, but I also don't think we can just let it slide as that reinforces their belief. If we let it slide we are giving it our tacit approval.

You could politely point out that if their god was real and created all things then he made you this way. If he's omnipotent he knew you would turn out this way. If he has an ineffable, infallible and unchangeable plan then he knew and wanted you to be an Atheist (even though he is going to send you to Hell for it later).

If God has a perfect and unchangeable plan do you think he is going to change it for you? If God is all-knowing and even knew he would send Jesus before the world was made (which also means he knew and planned for us to fail) then he already knows if he is going to do something about whatever it is you are praying about. 

By the way, I am pretty sure Christians know their prayers don't work also. That's why they have to tell you about it. That is why they have to request the help of others as in the picture above. If they truly believed in the words of their god they wouldn't need to do this. They would say a prayer between themself as Jesus instructed in the sermon on the mount. They would know it was going to be answered. They wouldn't have to enlist surrogates to do this for them. Talking to God on there own would be enough.

They have to believe things like this ~ It is the only thing that explains unanswered prayer!

You can try to explain that the bible says "Ask and it shall be given unto you." The bible claims prayer works every time. Nowhere does it claim their god will say no. Nowhere does it say prayer will be answered only if it is their god's will. However, if they don't give their god the ability to say no and that it is all part of his plan then they have to admit that their god is not answering anything.


Mathew 7:7 Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

Matthew 7:8 For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks,it will be opened.

Luke 11:9 So I say to you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.

John 16:24 Until now you have asked for nothing in My name; ask and you will receive, so that your joy may be made full. (To me this one is truly the one that they have to ignore. It doesn't say ask for holy things or with a correct heart, it proclaims, "That your joy may be full!")

John 14:13 Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son.

My response has always been to say something to the effect of, "Thank you for praying for me, however, if your God is real and you believe in the power of prayer there was no need to tell me you prayed. As Matthew 6:5 says you should pray in private, and your god will reward you openly, the fact that you feel this need to tell me you prayed has probably hardened my heart against any actual effect your well-meaning gesture might have had."

I could be totally wrong about all of this though...

2nd Peter 3.8 says But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. So maybe it's the Sabbath for Yahweh right now, he's resting,  and his first priority when he's back to work will be whatever project you left him that email about when he was out of the office.

Deep inside I think they know that prayer doesn't work. Deep inside they know the only response to their prayer will be whatever you choose to say to them at this moment. You can be a dick or you can be their friend... or you can be an example.

One thing I haven't discussed yet is answered prayer. I know someone will read all this and claim their god does answer prayer.

True confession time: When I was 13 I believed in the power of prayer and even that it had worked for me. I wanted to go outside and play basketball, but it was raining. I prayed for the rain to stop. Shortly after praying it did. For a time I honestly believed my prayer had stopped the rain. 

Of course, prayer never worked when it was important. It didn't work when my family needed money or someone we knew was dying. It never once saved the day, but it did let me play basketball that day and that's an important lesson in how prayer works.  You remember the times it worked and chalk up the times it didn't to "God's Plan."

We count the hits in life and forget the misses!

Some people, however, like to claim that a god actually cured them of something. They say their god healed their cancer or they saw a video or they hear anecdotal evidence that so and so was healed and accept it as a fact.

On examination of most cure claims, we find out that it was doctors who cured the. Trained medical professionals with years and years of college who treated and cured the. 

Sometimes though a claim does look extremely miraculous and so that gets attributed to a god. To those people I'd ask the question, does God care about rats and mice? 

Spontaneous remission and regression of cancer and many other diseases has been seen and studied in rats, mice, and many other animals. To the best of our knowledge, none of them were in prayer groups at the time. Did God change his plans to heal a rat?

Almost all other forms of faith healing are frauds. Just going to go ahead and say it. It's been proven time and time and time again. 

And, quite frankly, if I am wrong... if there is a god (any god) that can heal sickness, cure disease, and help the local sports team win the big game and still lets 14k children starve each day and allows others to die from brain tumors and other childhood cancers while failing to hear those prayers... that god is just a dick and unworthy of worship!